... Sunshine ...

Well the rain has stopped. I guess that's a plus. The sky is blue, but all the noises are annoying. I want to enjoy it's blueness, but the blueness reminds me of how let down I am. I know it's not that big a deal, but it just rubbed salt into an extremely painful old wound and may have caused irreparable damage. I'm not sure how to escape him.
Last night I dreamt that he told me to quit him, to forget entirely. I can't do that. He's there, he's a part of me and I can't make that go away. I'm stuck.
How do I keep moving forward when the thought of him keeps pulling me backward? I want to be happy - I have so much to enjoy, to look forward to, to smile about. Yet here I sit, ranting, frowning, ruining things again.
I don't know how to make this better, how to redeem the situation. I don't know what happens next...